designer skyline

on his back porch he and her sit
making idle chat as the sun begins to set
easing the tention she giggles
looking off into the distance she puts her hair up
gently he smiles and glazed over are his eyes
realizing what is in front of him.
the sky blends into a redish orange
as the sun begins to fade behind the trees
look she says
isnt it beautiful
not taking his attention of her
he humbly agrees.
you have no idea
sometimes i wish i can just go
to were the sun and the
ocean meet she confesses
hesitant to truly say what he wishes
confidently replying
let me take you there.
dont be silly smirkingly she looks at him.
im not. let me take you there. he admits.

starting new from old.

i removed myself from social media such as Facebook.
lets see how this goes
---------
we sometimes regret.
we to often take for granted.
we rarely express our true emotion.
----
Thinking and looking back on experiences of past
like most i look upon myself and wish
i knew then what i know now.
to maybe fix or change the way
things may have gone or went.
not saying i live in the past.
but wish it would have
created better bridges of the future.
so many people have touched and been
apart of my heart.
my life.
done so much yet i expressed it in all
the wrong ways
or not at all.
we often at least myself feel like just a blink
in someones history soon to be forgotten
or just one line in a novel.
I think of you often.
I feel like this is my time, not to escape
but start anew. I am uncertain and scared.
To go to a place where no one knows my name
blank page. will i even know how to be.
have i lost my way.
will i find the right one I've always wanted to?
or am i just running from haunting places and faces.
thank you so dearly from the bottom of my heart
despite it ending abruptly, harshly, quietly
whichever way it may have ended or gone.
You have and still mean the world to me
without you even knowing it.
i miss you all dearly.
even if your still near.
----
play for beauty that says it all.

hope for now.

today we snuck past the mindfields. the trenches were cold
and damp
we barely made it out alive.
the shadows kept us warm from the darkness outside.
i can still hear the footsteps.
M couldnt sit still as his feet ruffled
the dead leaves below his feet,
C would whimper from time to time as K
kept violently silent. Myself,
i kept my eyes shut for fear of what may come.
we were running behind the gates of hell.
the sound of shutting doors sounded
of cellar walls caving in upon us.
the air became thin and our lungs became weak.
each hallway feeling neverending
we hear faint screams from behind us, but we dare not look back.
this is only the beginning of the end.
C tripped over some wiring, we quickly
helped him up as the screams became more clear.
stumbling from the damp flooring
we move with much haste.
there is a glimmer of hope as we notice a clearing.
then suddenly a darkened figure stands between the doorway.
M shudders and becomes lifeless in place.
K and I grab the other two and sneak into the nearest door.
slamming the door shut behind us.
gasping for air it feels as if it may be our last.

realization

we are all guilty of this. To often we neglect and take for granted people,
and those who are within our lives. its funny how a location or place
can bring up fond memories of olde with those who were inseparable to
you in life at that time, then often realizing you have lost touch
with them or dont contact them as often as you wish.
i went to the ocean today, my haven as you will. westport.
Alot has been going on in life, and it could be stressful
but as soon as i stepped foot onto the sand it all
vanished, and i felt revived. It reminded me why the water
centers me and makes me calm.
i can tell a growth within me as the past month and it makes me
happy to see im finally on a path to the discovry of self.

forever and a day

today was an exuberant day. life is changing. an evolution as you will.
leaving work early to spend time with good people was well needed.
though seeing caged animals. reminds me ( not to the extent obviously) maybe
more so metaphorically is how i have felt for so long.
by the end of this year my plans will be in motion.
i am happy taking photos once again.
the 2 hour gym sessions each day i have pushed myself into
has shown me the dedication that is needed to obtain my goal.
due to much hesitation and fear i lead myself into has
hindered me to the crippling state of monotony i have endured for so long.
thank goodness for those people who have come back into my life
and give me the breath of fresh air well needed.

this is all

knight skie

as he stands within the field,
he looks upon the diamonds in the night sky
luminous is the moons glow.
Looking up to it as if its going to reply
speaking softly to himself
"i think of you from time to time, in my passings,
I see your face many times a day.
Does this happen with you?
dearest moon?
I often forget you are up there, as if you never where.
i hope its not the same for you as I. stay beautiful."
he suddenly sighs
after returning his gaze back to the twinkling diamonds

fear knot

"why don't you tell me you love me" she requested.
while turning onto her belly, head in hands.
squinting due to the sun. he musters
"because i fear"
tilting her head perplexed.
"confused? however so."
with a heavy set sigh he sputters
"baby you know how i feel"
bending her legs up kicking them to and fro.
he sits up leaning back up against the tree.
brushing his hair from face.
"I fear we may go down a path we cannot turn back from."
he looking off into the distance.
the girl then replying with a smile.
all thats left is the silhouette
of the couple falling into each-others arms,
as the setting sun collapses into the eve.

the 4th of ju-lie

with the sound of explosions deafening the ear
i close my eyes to feel apart of history
the mind warps to the colonial times
each blast shattering and rumbling the skies
re-creates the memories of wars past
cannons smoke fills the air
blood curdling screams voice the lands
as the evening comes to its end
paranoia fills my frame
i cannot rest

welcome home

it astounds me that the chest cavity
carries one of the most blessed
parts of the human anatamoy
that it allows us to express,feel and share
so much love to ourselves and others.
to often we forget to express our gratitude of our
fellow man. TO often do we express and glorify
the negative we sometimes see in another.
rather than to invest time and enjoy the accompaniment
of the person right next to you.
we all experience everything in life for a reason
we may not always know right away or why.
Yet it helps build us, and allows us to share
with those around our experience to empathize
with what they may be enduring.
allowing us to initially become closer and love one another
hatred is such a weakness.
crawl in humility. before standing in honor.
im so grateful for my life and what i have experienced
in my short 22 thus far.
the people in my life bless me more than they will know.
i love. i thank you.

new design

this uncharted terrain
beseech's me
i must explore
unfolding the map
where i should lay
it turns blank
bewildered
by the thought
my heart seeks guidance
i shall lay ink to
this chart
paving my own way
where many shall
soon follow

fold the map

my younger brother graduated recently.
It makes me happy. It makes me feel old.
I'm Finally getting Life Straight. I will continue this.
Once i Move to my
short term Residence, i will be reading/writing more.
Something i keep
trying to Implement as a renewed hobby..
Work.Gym.Lady time.Friends.Repeat.
new car. new leaf.
new continuations of life.

what a metaphysical paradox

its great when motivation, and clarity burst through the seems.
my list of To Do's is almost all crossed out.
i went to the gym today without any accompaniment
it was really nice actually, i motivated myself more so
than when with company. i ended up sweating like a pig
in the end though, but hey its all in good progress.

a room with no doors

work makes me feel like im in a room with no doors.
stuck running in place.

kaliko

The other day i ventured to a new landscape
after a drawn out ride across the paved route
we arrived at our destination
the commoners looked at us
as if we were tourists.
lost and confused
no map would be able to help us
we sat in our seats
unsure what to expect
just a microphone stood on-stage.
eager i sat at the edge of my seating
and was captivated by my surroundings
the theater looked immaculate.
soon my attention stood forth
as our speaker came to
Henry Rollins
His words were like a wildfire
blazing through destroying many
barriers and hooking onto anything
that would listen.
it all went to hastily because
before i knew it, it was over
3 hours had come and gone.
For Mister Rollins spoke
not with a single drop of water
or a seconds worth of silence.

I feel as if im on fire for the answer
again.
It makes me want to write.
it makes me want to read.
it makes me want to feel alive.
Henry rollins, Buddy Wakefield
such people are so inspiring.
my heart warms.
-----
moving timez soon.

re-bo0t

its funny what the undo button can do.
on accident. so much written.gone.in.seconds.
my mind has been blank for days.
uncertain.where.shall.i.live?
anxiety within has been building.
yet i stand calm.Today.was.a.day.
i was alone all day.The.first.in.
a really long time.I've kept busy
with surrounding myself with others.
Hiding.it.seems.
i.purged.my.room.today.after.3.weeks.
of not cleaning.
I am listening to Sufjan Stevens a.t.m.
Good.times.
i want to be doing more with my time.
why am i allowing such routine to
copy and repeat. i was doing so good.
break.the.mold.
we.cant.rewind.like.a.video.
after.being.sick.for.a.week.straight.
i'm finally feeling better. thank god.
waking up crippled is never good.
reminds.me.when.i.had.swine.flu.

\43 min phone break/

\43 min phone break/

just got off the phone with the lil lady.
its.funny.how.the.universe.unfolds.itself.
sometimes.my.mood.now.was.not.what.it.was
when i started writing this.
i feel much better. not that i was depressed
or anything before.
...
these clouds bleed crimson
for the heavens are burning
we awoke the great deceiver.
angels fall by the masses
the streets open up swallowing
them whole.
unsheathe thine swords brethren
the hour is nigh
demons crawl this land
for far to long
our future resides in each-other

zoomancer

the other day we went to the Zoo, coincidently on the
windiest day of the year hahah. halfway through our
endeavor the zoo lost power. so that was interesting
but we still had a blast. i took almost 100 photos.



Yesterday i had been involved in the "official" like manner
of courtship and meeting the father. It nearly wasn't as bad as
i had thought. I'm truly glad her mother met me and adores me before
the whole "dating" part was put into the equation.

its not ironic its obvious

it was ironic recieving this. which stands true.
thus i will. she makes me happy. I am at utter
ease and calm, when she is near.
Never do i second guess anything with her,
unlike the rest. which usually i was right about.
things are also going very well.
-----------




today i went to a baseball game with 3 good friends.
it was wonderful, funny how things work out
receiving 3 free tickets. I was just talking
about going to a baseball game last week.
Due to not going to one in 15years or more,
the experience is always fun.
Surrounding myself with the right people
just continues to make my life happier.
-----


also lately i am finding myself become
more frustrated at the small things.
it comes and goes, which scares me.
the past 3 days at least.
i hope this bomb can be defused.
when speaking with her it eases me
this i enjoi.

a new nightmare.

so i was a bit hesitant, due to my true love for the originals,
Yet this was no mere replicated remake
with sub-par castings and cliche kills.
It started a half hour before the movie,
and met a really funny guy sitting next to Alannah and i.
We goofed making fun of those who would
buy "D-Box" seatings which end up being 18$ alone per.
If you dont know the D-Boxing seats are suppose to
replicate the intensity of the movie
by feel. The casting was actually pretty decent for a remake,
and the acting wasnt to bad.
The Effects where great and reminded me much of the
originals. There was something very nostalgic about this refreshing new
view of Freddy. The only downfall was the make-up for freddy,
no offense but with first view he looked
like a person with down-syndrome badly burned.
Of course no one can replace Robert England,
but for what it was i loved
how they portrayed him. The kills where wonderful.
It felt as if they put all 6 movies into one,
if you are such a fan as I, you will notice many
of them within this renewal. I left very pleased,
as i entered as a skeptic.
This has been my favorite remake thus far.
-----
life has been wonderful thus far, sorry for the lack of updates.
I have been actually very busy, and when i'm not i feel restless.
The gym is great and always makes me feel wonderful.
Moving in 2months.
Surrounding myself with great people.
always running into new and funny acquaintances
makes for splendid stories

f(r)iend

"you make me glow, watch everything light up around you"


its been a emotionally hectic week. people deciding to
confide they care for me and like me. the constancy
of the gym, feeling great due to. Always keeping myself
busy, with body's around me smiling. I feel i made the
correct choice, due to the recent events. My heart is at
ease. Life is looking up. I haven't played any video-games
in almost 2 weeks, and I'm gaining an itching. Today
i am thinking about it but i just got done cleaning house,
4hours later. the sun is out the birds are bumpin. I went
for a walk, and did my lil' workout routine.
---
i maybe have decided to not trim or shave my beard
till my birthday.. we will see..hah.
---
postal service is wonderful relaxing music.
---
back tattoo idea i want

what makes a man?

exuberant are these emotions
while sailing these seas
i capsize
unsure where it may lead
treading aimlessly
in these waters
seeking out my lighthouse
waiting for a sign
arms growing weak
lungs become restless
the current lulls me
fate is in your hands now