.

surely this is uncertain, in a unsure manner. is this right or wrong.
who knows. time will tell. lets pray its certain.

all of the below

my eye has been twitching all day.

feeling:

clingy
needy
exhausted
lonesome
sad
happy
disappointed
fear
joy
....


bye

troubled time

im growing quit unsure
about my financial situation
even if i save up till
she gets here
its nearly not as
much as i had hoped
I'm tired of being broke
for what reason?
none but my own.
even with the changes
I've made its
still not enough.
---
i need to rid
of my useless
items fast.
somehow
someway.
i need money.
sadly.
---
having to pay
all the bills..
oh the joys
of bringing home the bacon

its not much, but its ours.

sadie and I where on the phone together whilst being
at target "together". She then wanted me to buy us
a lil tree for us :). I've never bought anything
"together" that is, permanent, you could say.
It made this feel even more so real.
-----



I never want to walk away mad or upset.
you never know what may happen afterwords.
She makes me this way, i am thankful for this.
------
Robert gave me comforting words that i cannot
express how much they meant to me, honest.
Always knowing what words to speak,
when they are needed.
thank you.
------

its nice to hear from people how much joy you
bring into their life. I am glad i can bring
and uplift many people,
and give them my positive energy and make their days
worthwhile, even for a minute.
Yet i need to fend for self as well.
Metamorphosis of ones self, is the hardest thing
especially when people "know"
and "Except" so many things from you
when you are trying to stray from it.
am glad Robert can see such things within me
and says he Respects me and my decisions. It means a lot.
-----
to often people don't hear good things they wake up wishing to hear.
i usually tend to try and do such things and
compliment people (being sincere
while doing so).
there's so much good within a single person,
its just so much easier to ignore it.
----

it may not be much, but its ours. I cant wait to see where it grows.

lullabies

restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.restless i wake. restless i wake.ifikeepmyjobanylongeritwillbethedeathofme.

-----
all i see is her face
all i hear is her voice
all i smell is her scent
in time sweety.
shes wrapped herself
around my every thought.

----

things happened.

"Tethered by Reality"

this lonesome leaf hung for dear life
his brethren left him, abandoned.
for he could not float away.
Fear consumed him.
all the other foliage
prospered into new terrain.
whilst he feared change.
one day son. one day.
------


i took a walk today.
i took a photo today.
i saw a familiar face today.
i thought of her today.
i am happy this day.

----------

"Purity"

the skies tried to destroy us today
but mother fought back
with much sorrow consuming us
brought much joy and hope
breaking through the clouds
parting such chaos
faith shined brightly

note to self:

i miss you terribly.



---


vinny,
we have
some work
to do.

breaking the habit

this dormant beast
once rested
now wishes to play
the cage was locked
kept at bay
for so long
what has become of me
change?
has it really become of self
or is delusion
the bed i made.
-----
alot is going on lately
and my head is spinning
i feel the anxiety choking me
and i cant take it anymore
i want to walk away.
just go
somewhere safe
but everyplace
that once was
is no more.
---
my heart belongs to a girl
her name is Sadie
she makes me want to change
be a better person.
she makes me smile
making me happy
more than i have ever been
she shall be moving here
the day after Christmas
what more could i ask for?
(even as i write this,
thinking of her,my
anxiety's and fears
dissipate)
my heart left
that day we
separated from a
wonderful hug
and it shall once return
when we return such a gift
to each-other yet again.
----
i have taken many leaps of faith
as of late
please don't fail me now.

internal warefare

I recently had a long conversation with a buddy about
personalities and traits.
i have been realizing lately i feel upset or bummed
about people around me or work
that perceive me as a joke or a clown
yet i put that mask on for them to just see that
and nothing more, yet i struggle with the want
of them to know me for who i am and
what i want to become.
im tired of being the fool.
or acting.
i just want to be.
---
also the position at work was filled
and i wasn't informed or even interviewed
because i asked the person
who was the potential filler of the spot.
she said "yeah, did you not do well in the interview?"
and it instantly bummed me
because i had not even been interviewed
this made me feel even more so
like I'm seen as a joke and not serious.
--
also today my ears where burning all day
and were dark red all day.
my face was still blotchy from the day before.
all day people kept asking about my face.
i almost fainted at one point.
im not sure whats going on.

with clenched fists and bloodshot eyes

the only major act of physical abuse i have bestowed upon myself
is a greatly regretful one.
It started within high school.
creating laughter
with those around me. As time went on,
i could tell it became very damaging
a year or so went by of this.
It doesnt help that i have a terribly weak stomach,
i say it was a 50/50 of self affliction
as well as my friends knowing what they
could get away with.
what i'm getting at is, i've always had stomach issues, i wonder often
if i have stomach ulcers or something going on within me, because
i am often queasy or nauseous. I use to be able to puke on command,
or my friends would make me dizzy or make me drink or eat
things they knew would manifest such things outwardly.
my throat is permanently damaged and i always feel like an old
man clearing my throat like I've done chew or smoked for years.
it sadness me that i have done such affliction to myself, and at the time
thought it was funny and wouldn't have any permanent effects.
after lunch today i found myself weak and feeble, at this point it
had been along time since i have done such an act.
10minutes had past after lunch and i couldnt bare it anymore
i used the restroom like i had to. flushed. then found myself
coughing with the seat up, and falling to my knees with arms
around my stomach. ending in nothing but dry heaves, blood, and agony
i sat there in tears.
my face puffed up like a balloon and my eyes where pure red.
i felt pure hell within my stomach and eyes.
everything was a blur for 20minutes.
i looked as if i just smoked like 10000 bowls
and everyone kept pestering me very concerned
thinking i was sad. though i wasn't.
sigh. i just wish this would get better, than worse.
Everytime it happens, all the blood vessels in my face
burst and i look terrible.
I need a new stomach.

winters embrace

these
shiver
and
shakes
convulsive
earthquakes
fearing
like
i'm
close
to
a
junkie
with
the
twitches
uncontrollable
powerless

has a thunderbolt, ever voiced your name

tonight.
i did something unexpected
i went to FHE
seeing old faces.
it felt to much of a blur
my mind couldn't contain
everything going on.
reconnecting with old faces
felt nice.
but that's where i wanted
it to end
just at that.
-------
scarlet came to my house
and played me
twinkle twinkle
little star
on violin.
it was amazing.
great to see a missed face.
we went and saw
"Where the Wild Things"
something within that movie
revitilized something within me
a childhood? a dream. any and everything?
i felt so joyous just watching every
little scene and clip. like a dream
never wanting to escape.
it gave me much happiness
i didn't want to let go.
giving much hope for having
children of my own.
knowing it will be difficult
yet so much worth the end result
and just the good times.
it felt like a eyeopener to
many aspects of life.
something i cannot
internally explain.
----
afterwords i had a very much
unexpected discussion with a
friend.
lasting 2 1/2 hours.
its great to get to know people
deeper than the surface.
whether it be just simplistic
or truly getting to more
rooted things most people
don't discuss or wish to.
thank you.
-----

the flashes of lightning
were everlasting
and beautiful with each
flash exploding the
night skies

you are my heaven tonight.

this all seems so surreal
i was thinking today
i wish to write a story/novel
or a screen play
of the recent events
and how they came to
as well as Roberts
and Holly's.
because they are so
in-sync.
it would make for
a beautiful movie or book.
----
"Time is what we want most, but... what we use worst."
i shall never take for granted this time, we will have.

this times for real

sigh.... my computer is botched.
thank you sir.
---
today was a beautiful day
i sat at lunch alone in the
sun because they bees
attacked, so everyone left.
i looked at the beautiful
walking around the building
the trees and leaves
upon earths floor
looked so inviting
i wanted to
be childish
jumping and playing
within them.
today was a good day.

----
spin the needle on its
thread.
bobbing up and
back again.
this is my fate

constancy

its interesting watching people shed their skins like chameleons.
metamorphosis into something new, whether good or bad.
i've been noticing your change, slow yet noticed.
your anger grows within such a small persona-gin.
blinded are you with this.
yet it affects us as a whole.
---
i watched the clouds today.
they looked like they were
trying to escape their own skin
leaving the sky. to find a new home.
with such haste
it intrigued me. i smiled.
after fleeting
the skies turned grey
and torrential downpour
commenced.
thus creating more beauty.
----

Question of the moment:
how long will you tread water, with no hopes to sink or swim?

----

song of the moment:

Jonny Craig - I still feel her pt.3

F(r)iend

with your world so full of effortlessness
its so much easier to point the blame.
than face the mirror.
----
i found myself today listening to my music (per usual) at work,
and the sounds of a crow
where apart of a song.
It instantly made me think of all the songs that have samples
of random noises and animals.
Then i got to thinking of that they all had to be
recorded at some point in the beginning.
So i then imagined a man standing
next to an animal for
example : i depicted him standing next to a sleeping
boar, to create the sound and sample of a sleeping boar,
standing about a foot away trying not to make a peep,
to get the right quality sound.
I mean if you truly think about it,
this had to happen for each animal.
Each raindrop, chainsaw, car rev...etc.. any and everything.
that you hear in movies, songs, anything.
so i thought that was a
very interesting development of thought.
---
im finding myself more reserved in my
"outbursts" and "attention-whoreness"
because i dont wanna be perceived as that anymore.
Plus just being
who i want to be,
and i have been truly happy the past month.
words cannot express. so i wont even try.
---
from today i forbid myself from energy drinks
(since i was up to 1-2, hell sometimes 3 a day)
i know they are bad for me and i definitely
don't want to be hindered and be
co-dependent on them to be "awake"
i noticed myself more myself
and less crazy-goofy. which made me glad.
Though i noticed i was getting
caffeine withdrawals, which bring terrible headaches.
----
i cannot wait for the day when
east meets west.
----

Question of the moment:

am u rushing into things to deep to fast?

----

song of the moment:

Love is a fast song

You don't have to be ashamed
'Cause you're a miracle through and through
Oh, and you don't have to be ashamed
Of the miracle inside of you

What has love become?
It's not like we used to hear in those old songs
And it's not like yours
What has love become?

Whoa...your love is in motion
And it's spinning me around again
Whoa...my heart is in motion
For the movement that's in you

You should not be angry
If all she wants is your money
Oh, you should not be angry
'Cause all you want is her body

Whoa...your love is a fast song
And I'm dancing 'cause I'm loved again
Whoa...my heart is in motion
For the rhythm inside you

razor wire

I'm sure this is all gonna sound really ridiculous and uh... I don't exactly expect anyone to believe all this. Uh... for the last little while I've been kinda keeping correspondance with my sanity, and uhh… I really get the feeling that I’m starting to lose interest in the letter writing process. The pieces of the letters, they just get progressively shorter and shorter until it’s not even a reply. I uhh... the whole thing makes me really nervous. I just wish I could show you what a huge problem this is.

As life hangs beside me
I gather all that I can
You were never one for confrontation
But now it lies all in your hands

I kind of have this... Really terrible habit of asking myself all these stupid questions, right? Like what if uhh… what if there's a spot on my body that I can touch to keep my heart from beating? or like what if, what if theres this uhh... stray bullet out there that’s gonna come through my window and take me out? like what if uhh... what if theres this huge unstoppable comet that’s just gonna like, destroy the earth and all of us? Like what... what if that’s happening right now? How can I avoid all these questions if I don't have that? Like, who is gonna be here? Why... who is gonna be there... in the hospital? Who is gonna tell me that all this is bullshit... its a dream? Just a dream.This is not a joke. And uhh... i'll never sleep.

Who will be there to tell
Me how stupid I am?

Who will keep me from lashing out?
Anxiety chokes me like razor wire
Who will keep me from lashing out?
Anxiety chokes me like razor wire

Now it's all in your hands, in your hands

failure is not flattering

sitting within the seat with much fear and anxiety,
with just a split seconds ability to make or break
fates strings lay within my hands.
5 minutes lay to waste
crushing my confidence and stride
relaying like a drill sergeant of my faults
i accept it.
i lay in the puddle of myself that's left.
feeling weak and powerless
i snap back to reality
realizing this is uselessness
so i sat up straight and told myself
"son, you need to get back on that horse"
===
so thus began the beginning of a new day
its great when you can see self improvement
and it truly working.
taking a reflection of your past self
growing and shedding old skins.
===
Going to purchase fake blood truly
brought up my spirits..odd eh
hanging out with a new chum
was comferting and nice.
i always enjoy getting to know people
-----
i then left to heathers,
laying down vulnerable and unsure
molding me like playdo
my body became more relaxed
and comfortable.
it felt like floating on clouds
much stress was relieved
after a much needed
massage
then getting dinner and ice-cream
with great company,
i need to enjoy the little things
more often.
----
walking my way off to the theatre
i met up with holly
and watched ZOMBIELAND
which all throughout
was an amazingly
epic movie that
made me laugh
like no other.
SEE IT
----
Saturday being today
i woke up feeling like i
was on clouds yet again.
so i told myself today was
grand.
thus it being so.
thank you.
i went to the movies
with deven and alaana (sp?)
i had a great time
LOVE HAPPENS ='s
a lovely and grand chick
flick recorded in Seattle :D
SEE IT
----

lately i have felt hounded
by church goers
EVERYONE wants to get
into contact with me
even "higher ups"
who i dont know.
and it bothers me
i have my agency.
its my choice. leave it at
that.. goodbye
----

Question of the moment:

how desensitized can we truly become as a nation?
i ask this because that has been the main topic i've brought
up each time its proven. Todays youth is a great example.
----

song of the moment:

Highway of gold
by: Jaguar love

And everybody knows, knows, knows
The highway comes so high
Past the skeleton crows, crows, crows
Pecking at the scenic eyes

And if you try and never look down
You pass the spot connecting the gods
And if you try and never look back
You pass the vine of goshen's pack - me.

And the skeleton rose
They all backs of knives
Watching those luminous rows
Tying knots in the sky
And we were singing...

Highways of gold, where do they go?
Soft dripping rows, I filled 'em down with gold

And if you go, wasting on the sun
With your smile and his back room bars
Waving goodbye
Your ass on the ground,
screaming goodbye with fluorescent charm

his name is susan

so00000000 i wanna make video blogs.
LOL after watching the keyboardist of HORSEtheband's
blogspot video, it made my tummy jiggle with laughter
(hopefully that jiggle will be gone soon)

today i kinda told myself i need to buck up with alota things.
over-reacting is useless and a big waste of energy.
So is getting angry over stupid ordeals,
i caught myself fuming anger today
i took a step back and realized the situation
it really wasn't worth getting over
especially co-workers that
don't know what they are saying.

Thats another reason i have been
disconnecting myself from
angry people or situations.
its just trite and tiresome.

it truly feels rewarding being able
to make someone smile
or better their day
with just a simple gesture
for example: i knew some gal
was having a rough day
so i just went up to her
and patted her on the shoulder
she thanked me and started
to smile more throughout the day

I'm always happy when i can be of
service like that


i feel bad for thinking this at times too
when i see people. and think to myself
just "wow." "are you serious?"
----

question of the day:

what makes a person so blind to their ignorance, or
how they treat people and effect them?


----

song of the moment:

"break through the silence"

Stare into my eyes,
There is nothing inside.
I'm a prisoner, I'm never
free.

Spare me your surprise,
There is nowhere to hide.
I'm not leaving
'til you answer me.

I caught you, I knew,
That you played me a like a
children's game.
I won't go, 'til I know,

Could you tell me if you feel the
same?

Here we are,
As we break through the silence.
Raise your arms,
With
the help of the sirens.
Holding onto hope.

Stuck in shades of grey,
When
your tongue has been chained.
Every syllable is such a waste.


I try to pull
away,
From a bitter embrace.
I'm not leaving 'til you get a taste.

This
isn't stained in black and white,
And you know that's why I'm torn.


But
sooner or later we will subside,
To the answers found in noise.
And we'll
break through the silence,
Break through the silence,
We'll move through the
silence,

the shiver

decided I'm going back on a diet.
----

question of the moment:

how many times can we change, before we loose ourselves?
----

song of the moment :


"Single"

Just because you went another way
Doesn't mean you are my everything
I've been thinking about you everyday
Trust me..

Save yourself there's nothing here to hold you down

In the shadow of the overpass
I can see everything is a mess
if you're happy honey, raise your glass
Throw it back, give a snap all on me
You fractured my heart once again
Fractured my heart once again

Just because you've gone another road
Doesn't mean that you don't have a home
You have a piece of me to call your own
You go home

Save yourself there's nothing left to tell
I'm blacking out your memories, I'm casting off your spells
Save yourself there's nothing left to hold you down

In your own way you where trusting everything
In your own way you just ran away from me

things get worse, before they get better

so opposites exist, so the other can as well.
sad happy night day etc.
today went pretty well at work.
i got home and instantly feel the encroaching melancholy start
manifesting within my gut.
it instantly started with the glimpse of a picture
and a million and one thoughts and
ideas going on with it. Not only that
but the thoughts going through out the day
of the previous night.
i feel i always am the one willing to
settle, or make compromise.
when will i find someone able to as well.
equally. effortlessly.
even without words needing to be said.
planning upon a trip to a friend
within the future, yet not able to
plan one with me, or set it in stone.
its always hearsay.
and my heart breaks.
as it lies within your hands.
this cold empty dark room
is consuming.
as Copeland plays with the background.

---

question of the moment:

why as humans are we conditioned to indulge within our sadness
and cradle it?
yet happiness always seems like the eye within the storm.

----

Song of the moment :

"dear ___"

Dear ___ I've got a letter
I would like to send
It's lacking strings of words
with punctuation at the end.
Should I trust this dialect?
To convey the right effect?

Dear ___ I've got some things
I'd like to set in pen
I would have used a pencil but lead's
just not permanent.
Should I trust my printer's ink?
To express the things I think?

Every page I tried my best to think
of something to contest
With inside jokes and all the folks
could have much more to say

Dear ___ this envelope
will represent my heart
I'll seal it, send it off
and wish it luck with its depart.
This stamp will be every action
that carry my affection
Across the air and land and sea
Should I trust the postage due?
To deliver my heart to you?

Give you all I can
Flower and a hand
I hope this helps you see
Signed Sincerely me.

how to build an empire

so i decided i also with song of the moment,
wanted to add questions of the moment as well.
Due to the many that swim within my head.

so i shall start with my most recent.

Question of the moment:

What compels someone or gives them the "desire"
to become a urologist?
or "fecologist?" i don't know the word.
either way, i was just curious.
---

i practice drove today,
and i felt alot more confident than usual.
so im glad.
got to get to know a buddy from work more as well.
good times.

im stoked due to the fact i will be buying
a "decent" amount of fake blood at the
halloween store next paycheck..
haha i have many plans and idea.
----

song of the moment:

"Inviting eyes"

You look in the mirror and for the first time you open your eyes.
Can't help but say oh. Now go! Oh!

Can't you see it? Can't you feel it?
Your weakness lasts forever.
Can't you hear it? You won't believe it.
Listen up before it's too late.

Too brash, too fast. Walk away from me.
Look back, forget. Throw it all away.
Can't you see it? Can't you feel it?

You are a coward without reason, a thief without a face.

You give me what I need but my mind is deafening.
My heart screams I was right. I was right.

Oh the pity, oh the suffering. Sad to say you'll regret your ways.

Can't you see it? Can't you feel it?
Your weakness lasts forever.
Can't you hear it? You won't believe it.
Listen up before it's too late.
Can't you see it? Can't you feel it?
Your weakness lasts forever.

Your boundaries will fall just like I said. Was it worth it all?

burn piano island burn

5:52
started off with the noise of a phone going off,
i had already turned off my alarm clock, so i knew it wasn't it.
After rubbing my eyes and grabbing my phone feebly.
Checking it i see its from a certain lil lady.
instantly i grin from ear to ear.
to be awoken by such. i throw myself into the shower, and dress.
Soon heading out for work. After passing the purdy spit
and looking at the shimmering water, my phone rings.
Shocked i pick it up due to only one person having that ring tone.
The call was brief, but it was the seed that manifested into a great day.
i found myself somewhat quiet today despite my chipper demeanor,
i was wanting to change the image of what is thought of me,
rather to the image of who i am and want to be.
Though i was still goofy and wanting to make those around me
and their day better.Those around me

could tell i was in a bit of a grand mood so i was glad.
Nearing the end of the day everyone got off 3hours early due to us being so caught up.
I stayed though because i told myself if i
want to do what i want to, i need to save up
and keep as much as possibly within the next year.
So it ended up being just myself Robert and Alaana (sp?).
it was nice getting to know her
shes a nice person, i find i need to reach out more to people.

i found myself home laying in my bed reading a book,
i am truly enjoying it.
Anything that creates thought
and the ability of awareness for self i love.
I've always thought that anything that helps expand your ability to think
and be a better person is worthy.

thank you.
----

song of the moment:

"Brand New Colony"

I'll be the grapes fermented,
Bottled and served with the table set in my finest suit
Like a perfect gentlemen
I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick
Where you will sit and contemplate your day

I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning
In an open tab when your judgment's on the brink
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
Albums back as you're lying there drifting off to sleep...
I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you...
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes
I'll be your winter coat buttoned and zipped straight to the throat
With the collar up so you won't catch a cold

I want to take you far from the cynics in this town
And kiss you on the mouth
We'll cut our bodies free from the tethers of this scene,
Start a brand new colony
Where everything will change,
We'll give ourselves new names (identities erased)
The sun will heat the grounds
Under our bare feet in this brand new colony
Everything will change

ponder this ponder that

if i cant have her, then why should i bother, in a world that's going to end pretty soon.?
---
well, time tethers everything together so frailly.
I found myself sitting at work breaks and lunch.
sitting on the morning dew covered grass.
pondering many life's questions.
my heart is elsewhere, belonging to another.
feeling like 2 worlds apart.
yet when the moons out we are closer than ever.
the thing that set fear within as i sat there.
was if it was even possible, could it, should it?
sometimes i feel i worry to much of logic
and should just follow what is, and my heart.
which is something that i have been learning to do.
Also thinking that i have been at the same job for 3years.
yet i havent saved a dime. living pay check to pay check
though this could have been EASILY ignored.
i have a spending problem where i buy random uselessness.
or spend it on movies, games, or going out to eat.
So i made a commitment to myself to start saving up.
from this point on, if i want to see the other side of that world persay.
theres nothing more than ever that i wish to do.
for the next year.
----
i need to stop living in my the labrynth of my head.
i need to open up.
i wish to stop being JUST the goof everyone knows.
stop playing the role everyone assumes i am.
just be myself.
that's all i ever wish to be.
----

song of the moment:

"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"

I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind,
But I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.

And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I've been
'cause who I've been only ever made me...

So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

on this i stand

A lot of the time humans are hard to stay susistent
self-projecting state of falsehood
were either too close to our image to stay objective in our conception,
or too far away to be subjective in any matter
this only widens our void in social conformity
introduced to our souls at birth and so I write.
I don't write without the intention of objectivity
or attention in the image
but only as an upright directional bridge
between the several flowing tunes scripture
reality is present in countless space and time
see I don't write for the future,
I write about the future, for the present
I write with my past, about the future, for the present

no se

anger has always broughten fear within my heart and mind.
i haven't cried in along time, yet this eve i have twice, out of sadness and fear.
im overly sensitive with certain things, it bothers me.
im sorry i ruined it.

Re-newal

well since i have seem to misplaced my former password
of my other Blog I shall re-make another.
--
I'm finding that i want to relocate myself with you.
start anew together, if only.
The vision within your head seems comforting.
--
restlessly restless with redundant redundancy.
--

song of the moment:

lydia - I woke up near the sea

So it's another night in my bed
'Cause I can't sleep
And oh, it wears on your shoulders
Just please don't ever leave
Me here, don't ever leave
Don't you leave

Start out like a sailor
And bring back all you need
So everyone else can
Try and get some sleep

It turns out you were into yourself
It turns out you could find your way out
Just once more for my baby girl

And so I woke up near the sea,
Sailing in my dreams
You are already falling back in love with me
Just fall back in love, yeah
Just fall back in love

It's just the season on your back
It's just the way we know to act

And no one ever knew...

--

end broadcast